Mexico, Missourah. !!!

“I don’t deal well with constant negatives. I’m one of those people that always sees the good in situations even though most go straight to the negative. Case in point–Mexico, Missouri, my hometown. I know it ain’t shit to most, but there are reasons I came back here. Think I’m gonna blog about it.” – Porsha A. Williams, on #HOME.

I love my hometown.

Ask me that 5 years ago, and I would’ve been ashamed to say it. Ask me that now, and I’m nothing more than ‘floatingly’ happy. Reason being, I came home to start life anew — and that’s exactly what I did.

Constant negatives are something I left behind when I came home. The negative of lacking ‘play money$$$;’ the negative of not seeing my parents and raising my son almost alone and stressing to the point of finding myself constantly sick as a dog, over a job that would never see me at a spot where I could live my life in comfort without having to break my back. I left that shit behind to put my focus on my health, my son, and my sanity via doing something I actually enjoyed. And after the first few years — I found that — at home of all places.

Fast-forward to now. I never thought I’d say this, but I took offense today. I took offense to a friend hating on my town. Hating on it for it’s lack of ‘pretty people.’

…*sighs heavily* If pretty people is all you’re looking for, then you’re shorting yourself in a way that is heinous and wrong. Reason being — there’s so much more to life than the looks of a possible significant other. There’s so much more to life than that. There’s so much more to my town; while the people in it make it, there’s just much more.

But it wasn’t so much just that commentary. It was the feeling and vibe that my town wasn’t worth shit, simply because of the view. Be it the people, the town itself, or the places in it — it wasn’t worth anything.

I took major offense to that; not at first but after the repeated and constant commentary that it lacked this or that. It got me to thinking; what really mattered, when it came to my hometown was it’s history and it’s future and the part I’ll play in that.

It also got me to thinking; does it really matter where we live? When it comes down to it, if we don’t take advantage or grasp the opportunities laid out for us — if instead, we just sit and wait for someone to come and drop into our laps what it is we need, vs. get to work on making the changes necessary to make what you want come to you? I could live in Bali, NYC, or Peru…wouldn’t matter — if I don’t take the steps I need to grasp what it is I want, it might as well be hell on earth…right?

Right.

And so I thought again, on my hometown and what made it the place that I have decided to spend the rest of my ‘middle life.’

Yes, middle life, because that’s what I consider ages 30-60yrs old.

I thought about the RICH history of this place, and how I could spend hours of my life, day after day for the next 30yrs in the dusty library of my hometown — researching and documenting that history as only I could. I then got to thinking about the people in the town; those I know, those I remember, and those I’ve yet to meet.

Nowhere that I’ve lived, has or will ever have the level of friendliness that pure strangers have here. Here, I’ve met more people in the past 4yrs than I had in the past 15yrs I spent in Columbia, Missouri. And that’s saying something.

I’ve never had more people simply nod in passing, or even go so far as to say hello as I have here. Not in my time in Columbia; not in my time in Boston nor in my travels around this fine country. The charm of people being polite never gets old for me.

Then I got to thinking about my son, and how I love having him close to his grandparents. I had the misfortune of only getting to know one grandparent vs. both sets. And while I loved my granny with all my being, I knew that it was imperative my son have both his Mimi and PawPaw in his life. He needed the love & life lessons that only they could provide. He needed the care that only they could give — especially in my down times, due to my Mitochondrial Disease. He also needed the care and concern of the Mexico Public school system, vs. being a number like he would’ve been in the Columbia Public School system. Lastly, he needed to know who his family was — as he will be the only child I am able to bear to the world.

…but then, I finally got to thinking about life and death all around — and what living in this smalltown provided best of all.

Peace. Peace of mind, peace to go forward knowing that when I left this earth, my son would always ever know that no matter where he went — he’d have a community that would remember him, welcome him and embrace him if & when he returned. Because I promise you, 4 out of 5 people always return. This place is, quite frankly, HOME. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with returning to a place of comfort, kindness and love.

This is why I love my hometown. This is why I’ll defend it to any f**ker that feels the need to tear it down. Despite it’s shortcomings, unlike any other place it’ll never not feel like home. I’ll never feel like a tourist here — unlike the many, MANY places I’ve been throughout the world throughout my life. And that’s saying something.

Until we meet again, Brightest Blessings!
~P

London Calling.

I’m not quite sure WHERE this post is going…so consider yourself warned. Also, I’m typing it up on my Smartphone and I’m slightly buzzing off of my fifth Tom Collins; you’ve been adequately WARNED.

BOSTON’S barely done burning yet, and now Waco is on fire again (seriously, how is there even still a Waco, TX left? Just saying. !!!)

Gun background checks didn’t pass today (I own a gun, but I’m not going to confirm it’s street-legal status) but I’m also not a terrorist nor a sociopath or some sort of vigilante-violence advocate—just a sorta single mommy who wants to protect her child at no cost.

Let’s see, what else? Gay marriage rights passed in New Zealand, yet STILL have not passed in all 50 states of the U.S.

That’s it for current events…now let’s talk about what I’m actually concerned about.

When I was 19yrs old, I met my true love online at “Globe Chat” via Yahoo!.com. He lived in Boston, Massachusetts. I lived in Columbia, Missouri. We didn’t know we were each other’s true love yet; we just knew we enjoyed talking to each other.

Fast forward to my 20-21st birthday, or shortly thereafter. He bought me a ticket, I lied to my parents, and ran away for almost 2wks to Boston. I’d never been to the East Coast. I fell in love immediately, with him then with Boston.

There is no place in the world I will ever love, more than I have and do love Boston, Massachusetts. The stink, the people, the pizza, the heat on an August afternoon; the rudeness, the uniqueness, the Prudential, the scum and hobos and the nightlife.

For those of us not quite ready for NYC–BOSTON is the stepping stone to the gritty reality of life in a big city. It’s also the heartbeat of history, and the heritage of every single American who wants to call themselves FREE. We started here, before the illustrious “Gangs of NY” or the Wild Wild West OR the Antebellum South…we, the people of America, started there in the ports of Beantown.

How dare these Nihilist FUCKS try and bomb my city, the city where I first made love — the city where I finally grew up?

As a Pagan, I know I’m wrong for the thoughts I’m thinking and the feelings I feel but I don’t care. I wish nothing but BAD, even if it finds its way back to me — to the perpetrators of this crime.

And to my city, I can only say I love you, I miss you, and stand fast- -like you always do. I’ll see you soon…

~P

About The Light.

“You turned everything upside down! And for every aspect of our proposed damnation you found exuberance, and here was no end to your enthusiasms and the passion coming out of you – the light always the light! And in exact proportion to the light coming out of you, there was the darkness in me! Every exuberance of darkness and despair! And then, the magic, when you got the magic; irony of ironies, you protected me from it!” — via Nicholas, from “The Vampire Lestat;” Chapter 6 pg. 232.

There’s been a lot of hustle and bustle that I’ve had both the displeasure and pleasure of watching; regarding the current on-line Pagan community. Through the majors and minors, I’ve watched on-going “blog wars” about Big Name Pagans. I’ve watched folks carrying on via comment sections in just about any big name or small pagan blog about how closed off their particular section of the community is (we section out now?)

I’ve watched just about every single “visible-online” pagan I know try to differentiate, between being a polytheist/monotheist/Pagan/Heathen/Druid/Wiccan/NeoPagan and the lists go on and on. I’ve watched folks carry on about being “Christian-Pagans” or Christian witches or vegetable people and advocates of drug-induced worship OR advocates of abstinence of drugs and sex in worship blah blah McBlahberson. Lastly, let’s not forget all the states (and/or, State) trying to make one religion the religion legally (what? What’d you say about the U.S. Constitution, and Freedom of Religion? What’s that about Quakers’n’such trying to escape religious tyranny by coming to America? What’s that about Henry the VIII taking on Rome over his assumed-Pagan Mistress turned Queen, Anne Bolyn – even if it was all for his own benefit in the end!)

Argue, complain, separate, divide & conquer. It’s all the same, no matter what language you use or what adjective you add. It is All. The SAME. And it’s what I’ve watched for the last 5-6 months in silence, from the quietness of my soft-shelled Scorpio body. It’s what I’ve slithered around to study and try to understand as my year of the Water Snake found itself commenced.

Divide us, and you can easily Conquer Us.

As a Pagan 3.5-4 years in, I can openly and happily admit that I don’t have a clue in hell what I’m talking about 90% of the time. The best advice I’ve received (and trust me, I’ve asked several Big Name Pagans this same question over and over again the last 3 years) is that I need to read the basics and study them thoroughly, in order to come to my own conclusions and connections with the gods. These tried and true leaders of our community whether big or small – let me know that I have to come to my own conclusions, and that my Pantheon can be as big or small as it has to be in order to wrap my soul in the knowledge & salvation that can only be acquired through true devotion. Those I consider the pinnacles — the very “lights” of our community both online and otherwise let me know that it’s going to much discussion, inquiry and study on my end in order to find answer that Christianity could not give me. But what they didn’t tell me is that assholes ABOUNDED from every corner of my sanctum. They didn’t tell me that those assholes (also known as everyone else’s opinions) would damn near smother me, until I lost my zeal for knowledge and connection with my gods & goddesses.

I didn’t realize that these first years can become a test.

The gods went quiet for me during this period. I couldn’t hear a bloody thing. No dreams, no visits, no nothing. I also went quiet for them. No writing, no early morning toilet-bowl pondering; no blogging. All I could think about was how much the bickering was starting to remind me of the Christian church that I had left without a second thought. Hypocrisy, denial, and the loss of creation in the exultation of what you left your moments of worship glowing with – the favor and inspiration of the gods!

Then just like the very first time I was touched by Aset – I was touched next by Dionysus. It was like the fire re-lit itself all over again. I dreamed, just like the first time I encountered Aset and immediately gave up Christianity the very next day. Fire encompassed my body & brain. I loved it again, all of it! The study, the pondering, the immersion; the worship and saint-like moments of epic sin. I loved my Pantheon again for not forgetting me when I seemed to be actively trying to forget it – because it had become too hard.

This is when I realized some hard truths as well. These hard truths are probably going to piss some people off, but I’m not being me if I’m not crushing opposition under my stiletto in the sweetest way possible:

• You can’t be a Christian and a Pagan. You Just. Can’t. Sorry.
• You are all Pagans, unless you’re a Wiccan.
• I shouldn’t snub my nose at Wicca – it brought great minds together in order to fight the good fight for alternative religions.
• Egypt is the Alpha and the Omega; Ta Mera cannot be recreated in a day so stop being so hard on yourself Porsha.
• It’s ok to be darker than light if it balances you out in the long run.
• All opinions are okay – even mine, so stop keeping them to myself.
• Sectioning out is ok – just don’t hide the knowledge from the other sections.
• Sharing IS Caring, Bitches. Stop being so secretive, mothasuckas.
• People will disagree with me. I can’t let that destroy my joy.
• Zeus, Dionysus, Thoth AND Morrigan can all exist in the same Pantheon. Just make sure everybody is getting their “dues and propers.”
• Lastly – It’s ok to offer your stinking drunk devotion, or plain old SEX to some of the gods and goddesses. They get a kick out of it!

That’s all the pondering I’ve got for one day. I’m going back to my TrueBlood maration and Marcus Auerlius meditations – of course, I’ve got more to say on those topics and many others in the very near future – promise!

Until we meet again, Brightest Blessings y’all!
~P

Speaking in Greek.

Last night, I dreamed about the gods.

Now mind you, while most would not find this a monumental occasion, I do solely because I haven’t dreamed about them in months.

I’m telling half truths…I didn’t dream about them, I walked the dreamscape WITH Them. All that I remember at this point in the evening is that Dionysus was primarily there, along with some version of Pan. I remember the dark forrest, but not being afraid. I remember a horned, small statured man speaking to me in loud exaggerated barks that were part latin, part greek and part the language of the gods.

I remember the wild hunt beginning, and me becoming no longer the watcher Spider but the Mad Maenad…I remember hunger, and drunkenness, and absolutely NO FEAR as my spidery legs morphed into human legs and limbs. I remember digging into the dirt with my dirty, cracked and bleeding feet- -the powdery wet soil soothing me as the Pan-like creature barked and pointed his commands to me and mine. I felt the ivy tangled in my dreadlocks; hair I don’t even have.

The creature pointed at the snow-capped mountain tops, and I nodded my acknowledgment. We were going to run, and crawl and climb and fly to Dionysus- -make him proud of our strength!

…And then I was running, inhumanly fast- -Sooo fast that huge clumps of raw earth exploded from the ground in my wake. I was so excited, FEARLESS! I could not wait to fall at the feet of my god, and writhe with ecstasy just at his nearness…but as I kept running, I began to realize something…

I was never getting closer to the mountain, because he’d already devoured me. I was already inside of him, my Dionysus. He’d consumed me, as I was now trying to consume him! This running was pointless- -he’d never left me, if anything just infused me with his power by chewing me up and spitting me back out whole and renewed.

The creatures I ran with shrieked their approval in great yelps; leapt into the air and somersaulted with pleasure as my eyes became more open with the realization…that this dream wasn’t a dream but a message from my god–one of many to come, from my mixed and glorious Pantheon…

“…you were always free!”

Until we meet again…

~P

Keep fanning the flames, guys

Reblogged from The House of Vines:

Peter Dybing has now weighed in on the controversy, accusing Galina of “crossing a line,” of being a "threat" and of “promoting a dominionist theological stance.” He goes on to add:

These events are alarming, add to this narrow and divisive view of Paganism a dose of the name calling that has occurred on both sides of the debate and we have a volatile mixture that could cause a schism within our broader community.

Read more… 622 more words

A Survey About Pagan Piety

Reblogged from Twilight and Fire:

After taking a few days to step away from the "Pop Culture Pagan" controversy, I thought it would be interesting (and useful) to conduct a survey about modern Pagan and polytheist ideas about the notion of piety, in the hopes of uncovering more about the range of attitudes and approaches that are present in our religious movement concerning practices which are considered pious -- right acting, spiritually pure, whatever you want to call it.

Read more… 539 more words

Very, Very Interested to see the end results of all the combined surveys! :-)

There are no enemies here

Reblogged from The House of Vines:

I thought my modest proposal would be the last thing I said about this, but I feel compelled to add something else.

Some of us hard polytheists have come off too strong in the debate. I know that I, personally, stopped listening to people, stopped considering the nuanced arguments of the other side and resorted to cheap theatrics to make my point.

Read more… 539 more words

:-(

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For the Solitary Witch - Marian Green's "A Witch Alone" in PDF

Reblogged from Blau Stern Schwarz Schlonge:

Cover of Marian Green's "A Witch Alone"

I can see that a lot of my fellow bloggers are what one would call Solitary Practitioners instead of members of a Coven of Witches, and i am posting this for them. Even though i have been the high priest of an older coven for over 30 years i still consider myself a solitary in many ways because i think i do my best magicke alone or with a quiet friend out in the woods.

Read more… 244 more words

Excellent resource, Thx Sweets! ;-)

This Day in Ancient History: ante diem vi idus junias

Reblogged from rogueclassicism:

ante diem vi idus junias

• 215 B.C. -- dedication of the Temple of Mens (and associated rites thereafter)
• 17 B.C.. -- ludi Latini et Graeci honorarii (day 4)
• 65 A.D./C.E. -- Jewish rebels capture the Antonia in Jerusalem (not sure about this one)
• 68 A.D. -- recognition of Galba as emperor in Rome (?)
• 86 A.D. -- ludi Capitolini (day 3)

Read more… 39 more words