A Pair of Pearls and Funny Girls


Bonnywood Manor

A biography, in snippets…

Barbara Joan Streisand, day one, dripping wet: “Hello!”

Ida, mother, catching her breath after the nexus exodus, looking down: “Meh. Maybe the next one will be prettier.”

Barbara: “But I can sing and dance and crack jokes!”

Ida: “That’s nice. Here, play with this Matzah Ball. Eat it, don’t eat it. I’ve got to get back to my job of being poor.”


Several years later, an apartment door opens. Neighbor: “Child, why are you wailing like that in the hallway?”

Barbara: “I’m practicing my singing.”

Neighbor: “And there’s nowhere else you can do that? In the entire world?”

Barbara: “I like how my voice echoes in here.”

Neighbor: “Well, knock it off. Go find yourself a good man and settle down.”

Barbara: “But I’m ten!”

Neighbor: “And it looks like you’re gonna need the practice. Go!”


More years later, Mother Ida: “What’s all that…

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