i find this beautiful. !!! 😉


I have opened myself up so slightly to someone else’s gaze and for the first time in a long time and  I feel so so vulnerable. This is a double-edged sword for me. Since my diagnosis with HIV I have closed myself up to any romantic type connections with others. For a long time I was in denial about this closure, but in reality it was something that I was actively doing. Yet now, in the new year I have taken  the leap into the wide ocean of human connection, I have let someone in and I am afraid. Afraid that I will be hurt, afraid that I will hurt that other person, afraid that my status will push that person away because as good as a person they may be they cannot cope with the fact that I have HIV.  Afraid that they will fear me….

To live without…

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